11 Oct

I am back at my place nervous as a child who’s taken a cookie from the cookie jar, I have been over this with my flow app ,counting my days, I’m safe they keep screaming. ohh how could I be this foolish and all it takes is one shot. I’ve always been careful I mean that must count to the gods, right, but something is nagging me that I shouldn’t be so casual about this.

To be safe I take an emergency contraceptive, thanks to cheat ,he also can’t take any chances, but because this is my first scare I decide to call lover ,just incase I mean studies have shown that a baby can share DNA right…

He’s in a bad mood which does not help my cause, my overbearing 💓 and churned stomach, ohh gosh is it growing, can someone feel it??maybe I should think of my options.

Do I want a baby? I don’t know? its never been a factor. I could give it out but how to hide the evidence.

Abortion gives me a sigh of relief, out of sight out of mind at least, no-one will know any better if the contraceptive fails, the statistics favor that.

I remember lover talking about wanting babies at some point, I don’t remember whether he was talking about having them with me… is this pregnancy 🧠 now? I’m bit shaken ,what I know is that he will take responsibility if the conception dates are close enough.

Has he ever doubted my fidelity??I start wondering, what if he decides to get a DNA test, now that it seems there’s a call to action to today’s men doing it, regardless of their relationships mphhh.

I wonder would cheat support this and a big part of me wouldn’t want him to. I don’t see the bonding that we did strong enough for even a co-parenting situation, that’s a definite no, I’d rather abortion.

I could check his phone and see if he has had any conversations regarding our relationship and be a bit chummy with his female friends, they are bound to hint at something ,women can’t resist being shady.

Shoot all this started with a stupid lunch, hindsight is 20/20

“Love ,love”, I hear him speak ,
I wolf down about two plates of food .
“You okay?” he says
” better than ever.” even though I’m not.

Leave a comment