08 Feb

In my four lonely walls, I ruminate and take pride in not taking myself there while the body tries to cool off the lust that has been building.

I reassure myself that it was a one off lunch, so safe and relaxed I go about my week,i get a text, I ignore ,then he calls and dutifully pick up.
“hi what you upto”
“Lesson plans and what not.”you”
“Work,preparing for pitch”
Nice, bet you’ll ace it”
“Oh yeah what makes you think that”
” i’ave seen you in action and more”-in hindsight this flirting will feel dumb
“what more? ”
“the more sometimes is what gets you a yes”

He laughs, a deep throated one it’s a mixture of tenderness, sincerity, flattery, assured, polite. “soooo what’s new”
In my head:”you and and all the new things I wanna do with you”
“Ohh nothing much, just the mundane of life, wake up, work, sleep, eat,rinse and repeat”
“are you single”?
“are you”
“Let’s meet up”

And all the practices of how I will say no evaporate, humans have a funny way to ease and justify shiny new things. Deep down we reason the motions both of us want to create have nothing to do with the serious relationships in our lives.i say yes without missing a beat.

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